And six months later…

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Well hello everyone! I know it’s been a while since I promised a reflection post on a Sunday that never came…until today!e…until today!

And what happened today to get me writing? First a WhatsApp message urging me to write for once and for all, and second! Today I make six months in Freepik, six months working, six months in which my life has given a big turn and well I suppose then that it’s a good moment to get the head rolling again about life. So let’s get to it.

Well I suppose that the first subject to treat is work, after all this is like an anniversary post.

So…work, was it like I thought it would be? I have no idea, because when I come to think of it: I actually never had an idea of what work would be about! It’s true I expected certain things, or maybe not, sometimes it’s difficult to isolate thought from the past and the present.

I  wish not to disappoint you because of the fact that there are certain things I don’t want to bring out to the internet because I’m bound not only by my father but mainly by myself and my wish to be a great professional (right now I’m falling asleep and I want to eat crepes filled with dulce de leche) . I’ll do my best. Obviously depending on who you are if you ask me when you see me I wouldn’t mind telling you.

Well the thing is I like to work and I like the idea of what I do on Freepik, of course there are days and tasks more interesting than others but that’s life and you have to deal with it weather you like it or not. For example: I totally hate translation days. I was born with the ability of translation but not with the taste for it, and I must say that those days are long and boring. But on the other hand I really like dubbing for example, or the idea of creating tutorials (I say the idea because I find myself with unnecessary restrictions that hold me back so much that something I could love and enjoy I end up feeling totally unattached to it and just want to finish as soon as possible, but! What normally would take me a couple of hours, takes me three days. So when I’m asked “Is there something else you rather be doing in Freepik?” the answer is “No, I’d simply do things different” I wish that my passion for my work wasn’t constantly shut off. Sometimes I wonder how I keep a up a cheerful and positive attitude… And because of the previous paragraph I have to bite my tongue (my fingers in this case) and stop about what “I don’t like”, so let’s to about what I like and other things!

Well I really like my “Fishbowl partners” (When I entered Freepik, three other girls came in with me and they put us in a crystal room the called the “Fishbowl”) and we totally connected from the beginning and it was the first time since I lived in Malaga (18 years now) that I felt totally “welcomed”, like if I were one more (That had only happened in Madrid when I went there to study), and I think it’s really cool. They are four equally strange, in their way, ladies which you can share your most bizarre and ridiculous ideas and thoughts.

Also since I work (and have Cash, cash, money, money…) I’ve been able to go out a lot more, like in the old days (a.k.a Madrid), and I’ve met tons of new people (you know I have a something for strangers), meet new places (In and out of Malaga) and buy yards and yards of fabric (my briefs collection is increasing monthly) (Part of the fault is that I’ve discovered a haberdashery that sells a lot of elastic laces and trimmings)…so basically thanks to money (Cash, cash, money, money…) I get to do whatever I want without having to care much of the expense.

And what are those things I’ve been (and will be) up to? Well for example, I went to Rome! Never been to Italy (I think I already talked about that voyage, so I won’t go over it again), I enrolled another (yes, another) lingerie class, I’m going to salsa class, in a couple of months I’m running a Spartan Race, I’ve increased my shoe collection (sorry dad), this summer I’m going to spend a whole week in France (hopefully getting a new job) and another week in Galicia (learning to surf), I wish to go to the Schoolism Workshop in London… and a lot of things more that will come in the way. Man this post is not my best work folks, I guess today I’m not in my deepest mood…

I suppose I have a lot more to say, but I feel like today might not be the day, I tried my best but I’m too full of energy (and I don’t know why because I can only eat chicken and swiss chards) (I’m on a stupid detox diet because of an allergy caused by medicine…). I guess what I would like to say with this messy and sense less post is that I’m really grateful, for the life I’m living, ok that I’m very far from where I would really like be working, and who knows if it might be years until I get to work on my first film, or I actually might never work on a film, that’s what I would love to, but does that mean I failed live? No, I suppose not, maybe I will have to spend my morning translating other peoples work in the morning for a living and drawing backgrounds for pleasure in the afternoon as long as I do my best in both activities and enjoy of what I have around everything will be more than fine. I know they will be days in which I’ll hate all my friends that are working in movies (which happens already) (I even have a friend working on Pocoyo! Is there justice in the world? Clearly not) and think “mann why didn’t I make it??”, luck? Talent? Lack of contacts? They are hundreds of ways of life beating us around, but since my experience, if don’t expect anything (I don’t mean you don’t have hope. Hope must always be present), work hard giving your best and not looking to the others castles you can have an awesome life. Why does a person working on Disney has to be happier and more successful that the woman who works beneath my house waxing other peoples legs?? Why? and some of you might be thinking…really? Well yes, I really think so. There are tons of people in the world and only a few work on “Top places” (if those even exist) and that does mean that they are more happy and successful than the rest of the world? Sorry but no, I don’t believe that, and if you think that I think you have a very mediocre thinking, AND THIS IS A BLOG THAT WISHES TO FIGHT MEDIOCRESY! (I’ve just received a mail totally unexpected…the content was “good” but it has totally ruined my day and I’m feeling how my face is getting all covered by a rash) (I’ve lost were I was going! Stupid Spa! Always messing around since the first day I met you…).

Well since I totally loosed track and the urge of getting back to my backgrounds let’s make a quick ending:

-If you are not were you want to be: Work hard and stop the excuses

-Be happy and in peace wherever you are but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to improve. You have the OBLIGATION of improving!

-I hope you don’t hate me, I’ll try to appear more often.

-I love you people

-Until the next post!  (Or not)

Work hard!…In a real direction

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Hey People! (and welcome to me muffin friend who I didn’t know read this (yay another woman to the ranks!)) I have a question for all of you:
How do you keep reading this pile of mumbling of continuous crying and constant deception? I really admire (and thank) you.
Well it has reached my eyes that some of my dearest readers where left quite worried because of my las post and I came to assure you people! I am recovered (now you might think I live on and emotional roller coaster, that changes really fast, well I have been like that but I think that I’m settling down, nothing like confronting and embracing reality) (you might still think that parting from my last week state I couldn’t possibly be recovered I must tell you I’m emotionally easily recovered, really easy).

It also helps that spring is coming, I’m also a summer lover, so I can go to the beach, my tan has started going on, I might not be going to Annecy but instead I’m going to the Canary Islands with my best friend, I’m goin to publish in a fanzine… so we might say things are starting to come out.
So in this new “stage” I bring out all my skills and I design patterns, I sew custom prom and wedding dresses, I’m not afraid of freelancing and I’ve opened a Society6 shop! (This is probably the best page on all the internet! YOU CAN GET SHOWER CURTAINS WITH MY DESIGNS ON THEM) (ISN’T THAT AMAZING?????) (Even I would buy them, despite I hate shower curtains))

The last post was so depressing (But true) and I remember writing in in a “hangover” mode so I’m not really sure what I wrote and I’ve been willing to delete it, but I’ve been to busy doing more interesting things, so when I finish this one I’m going to modify it, because they are some things I really don’t need know running around the internet, and as Edna Mode would say: “I try to not look in to the past, it distracts me from the future”. And some of those things kinda distract me so I don’t want them there, if you read it, yay you! if not, sorry you are late! jajajajaj
So know I go back to work! Thanks for being there and you know!
Until next post! (or not)

PS: Remember how last post I complained because of the fact that that I was stuck in 99 followers on FB? I GOT TO THE 100! If it has been one of you thanks! And if not, you can keep help me rising that number here!

 

I would have titled this “Aaaahhh….II” but I wanted to be a bit more original

cora2 copia.jpgHello, it’s me… Don’t worry! I’m not start all Adele-like (I think I’ve never listened to someone so…insufrible) (well there is a spanish singer called Manolo García who is on a similar or even higher level)

I know I’ve been a bit missing in combat lately, not only in the blog but also in my life and as I’ve commented in other occasions: I HATE IT
I really try to stay strong and to keep truth to my “optimistic/positive way to life” but come on, 9 months (I could have had a baby in that time) looking for a job with NO RESULTS! trust me it’s not easy (I suppose that sadly a lot of people know what it is) but the thing doesn’t finish there because when you are a lawyer, a teacher or whatever other non artistic job, you just have your curriculum to put up there and be judged by, BUT! in artistic disciplines you have a thing called “portfolio” (basically a folder with your BEST work). So you send your curriculum and your artwork to all the companies known and unknown and sometimes they send you a “sorry but no” mail but mostly nothing, wich in both cases means “your job is not good for us”.

I can totally understand my work is not going to suit most companies, but when in 9 months you don’t find even a tiny spot for you well you star to think… God knows what. I know my work isn’t perfect, it has a lot to improve, but I sincerely also think it has quality, and I learn fast I’ve already proved it (I also think that working (in a real position, with real projects and real pressure) is the best way to learn), I’m constantly looking for ways to improve (I have currently enrolled in a Schoolism course) and I really REALLY want to work, feeling that what I do is useful for the world is one of the things I love most (I find more satisfaction hanging the laundry than drawing lately…) But well, even though I don’t have much faith by the moment I’ll keep working hard, because that’s my thing. Or so I think.

That’s my main issue lately but other factors in my life don’t really help like for example:
-Getting a job of any other thing (just to make out some cash and have an occupation out of my parents kitchen) isn’t easier (and the administrations in charged seemed to be designed to make the life of job-less people even more miserable than what it already is)
-The fact that you barely have friends were you currently live because they are working in other cities and the ones that are here, have jobs that take all their time (good thing I have a loving family)

But I don’t want to give the impression that nothing good goes around! (I have to fight that dark cloud over my head, that I’ve noticed that sometime is a bit (lot) auto-imposed who knows why):
-My body is getting stronger (I’m taking my fitness much seriously), I’m even trying pushing myself to cool “complicated” yoga poses (I have a great balance head up, but head down…). I’m really enjoying this challenging my body limits.
-I’m back to studying French (remember I might be going to France in summer) and I’ve also started studying portuguese and I must say I’M LOVING IT, look: Eu gosto falar português. Yeah
-I’m alive which means I have the chance to keep chasing what I want
-I have a really supporting (some days) family

Well once again I’m getting bored of talking to myself but I have a (mostly male) public (I had today and unexpected confessed reader, and she is a woman, hi Hulia!) to entertain and I would not like to disappoint them! So that’s all for today
Until next post! (or not)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

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With this very suggesting title I welcome you to the first post of the year, I’ve been trying to get some time out but my short film is taking all my time lately (but it’s totally going to be worth it).

So this blog, responds to my needs of the moment, for example last week I would have talked about how I did in my job and stuff like that, but today I feel like talking of my “life resolutions” (I never make new year’s resolutions or so). I have a lot of time to think, because even animating takes a lot of concentration I’m still able of give things a turn or two and lately I’ve been thinking of the french film festival “Annecy”, but not in the way of a “festival”, I think of it more as a “concept” or a metaphor of life.

I regret not being a bit more daring in life, I’m not afraid of living but I have said “no” to things that I know were going to be good for me just because of fright, and I´m tired of that, tired of being stopped by “suppose to” or “not suppose to”. I don´t think I lived oppressed by my job, parents, friends… I actually always have done quite what I felt like but as I said I’ve been a bit corseted in certain aspects.

I like how I am, I have certain morals and ideas I don´t intend to change (basically because those things form who I am and they are not the things that stop me for doing what I want, actually they are te ones that encourage me to go ahead), but I also have that stupid voice tempting me with not going to certain places or not taking certain risk. I consider myself one of the most contrary/contrasted persons in the world and this is not the post to explain all that but I suppose that if you read it you might get a vague idea and to put a little silly example: when I´m working at my computer I have playlist that contain reggaeton and Mozart and I enjoy both the same (see there you have seen a bit of my daring part, no one would ever recognize they like/listen reggaeton becuse lots of people would stone them).

And what has Annecy “the festival” have to do with all this? Well, I’ll tell you:
I don’t know anyone really willing to go with me, so I said to myself “I don’t care! I can go on my own, I’m not afraid of travelling on my own” until here everything fine, but then that lazy and scared voice inside my head says “What are you going to do alone a whole week in France? Just by yourself, sleeping in a tent, just you, maybe you get bored, and you are going to make a great effort saving money for the trip, that by the way it’s very far from Malaga, how are you going to get there…” “SHUT UP! I’m going anyhow, I’ll meet very interesting people, I’ll get a job, have fun, maybe even meet someone special and learn a lot, so please stop trying to retain my thirst of adventure and life” and that´s more or less the fight that goes on in my head, the good thing is that that voice seems to be getting week, the bad is that Annecy is far in time still, so that stupid life blaster has time to rearm, but I have made the choice of not leaving it win ever again, c’mon girl! you know you can do it!

So for all of you constantly throwing excuses around for not living to the full, please STOP, enjoy a bit more and if you really have things that don’t allow you to do other stuff, reorganize! If you have to sleep 3 hours a day for an entire week so you can go on that trip or that whatever, do it! I’m sure you won’t regret it and that it’s worth it, lets stop being so lazy to live.
Well and that’s all for today, I wanna say “Hello!” to my two new unexpected subscribers I’m glad people enjoy my little mishmash of music, tequila and deep thoughts! and as always

Until next post! (or not)

My first artistic job. Yayyy me!

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The sooner I write it the sooner I get it, what? you might ask: A JOB. Yes people! last Tuesday I was writing the “about” section and complaining about the topic and half an hour more o less after publishing it I got the awaited mail and after a few more mails crossed the job was finally mine! And so I start today! yaayyyyyy

It’s my first artistic job, but not my first job and as all of them in the past this first artistic employment isn’t really normal. And since the year is coming to the end and people are fond of making list of their year memories I´m not going to be less and I’m going to make a list on the odd jobs I have had along my life.

My first “real” job (I say “real” because it was the first that money didn’t come from any relative, because I’ve been earning my money since I was 8), came when I was 16 in a flamenco dresses (typical spanish) shop called El Rocio. I saw the announcement in the window shop and immediately got in and asked for it, after I few questions like how old was I or if I could get a partner, so I left them my number and went back home.
At 9 am of the next Saturday my mom pulled me out of the bed and put me on the phone, it was from the shop, they have hired me and that started that day in two hours. I immediately called my cousin (that was my partner in crime) and told her to come rushing to Malaga city (she lives in an near town).
We got to the shop (late), the put us the flamenco dresses and send us with a couple of banners to walk around the street. So that was my entry in the working life, all covered in ruffles with a banner walking around the streets all summer.

We took pictures with hundreds of tourist and became friend with all the human statues that work in the main street.

My second job was kinda normal, but only lasted 7 seven hours. It was a as waitress in a wedding in a big hotel. Of course I had to wear uniform and of course I spilt a tray over me, full of gazpacho to be more specific.

My next job was in a sports foundation. I had to wear a tracksuit ( which is my most hated type of outfit) and there I had different task, depending on the event some days I spoke through a mike and others I organize little gymnastic brats.

The next job was a bit…bizarre. This time I worked with my sister as a partner and we had to go around the flea market of La Costa del Sol giving hospital advertising to the tourist (it was a hospital special for them). Until here, everything fine…now comes the awkward part… we had to do it dressed as nurses… I have no comments on that. (it was a horrible job by the way).

And now we get to today! the day I finally start using my studies to earn some money!
As it couldn’t be less I have to wear a uniform: all black and classy, I don’t have problems with uniforms (as we have seen it’s my every job charge).
And what’s the job about? Well it´s for the Nespresso Christmas campaign (woaa Nespresso, that’s a big one). I’ll be sitting in a stand with a hostess that will wrap the coffee making machines and the I will have to hand draw illustrations on the paper. I’m going to feel like an artist in a signature session at a Comic Com or similar!
Well as always I don´t have much time to finish this properly, but I’ll come back (or not) with more working experieces, so by te moment.
See you in the next post! (or not)

Strawberries, tequila and garter belts

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I couldn’t imagine a better title for my life lately. Why? I don´t know, it´is pink, mexican and glamorous.

It’s not that I’m living a Wildfox life or anything, at least in a material level (in my head lives a constant styled party) (mostly always).
The thing is that while I write this post, with a strawberry tequila cocktail, listening to Melanie Martinez´s Pity party my mind goes round my life, my day a day and makes questions that stay unsolved. I have just ate a piece of fruit cake my mom has made, it was delicious and as agent K says in Men in Black 3, cake is a good problem solver, but I´ve ate it fast and with out really enjoying it so it didn’t work, this night’s everything goes fast, not really typical in me (ask my dad).

As I said, I have a lot going around, I’m constantly going back and forward, trying to find out if I´m in the right direction.
I studied Fine Arts, but I never actually made Fine Arts, yes I have my college degree and passed all the assignments and tasks I needed to complete my four years, I argue A LOT with my teachers, because I didn’t agree with them almost in anything, but that was all. I´m not the bohemian artist type that reads hundreds of things other wrote, think of it and stupid amount of time an then produce. No, I´m more an action artist, you know I want to work in in cinema business, so my work isn’t supposed to express my feelings or anything, but secretly I´ve always had a part of my work, that even though it might look superficial or shallow (that I do produce images for images), a lot of time the serve me as a diary which I can shout through.
The problem is that that wasn’t 100%, because I was always thinking in the technique, the public and other thing that should not have mattered, but when you are dying to star working thanks to your work, you try that everything you do seves for a portfolio.

But now I’m tired of “hiding”, I’m going to start developing that “finest artist” in me, but for me, my rules, my colors my paths.

The problem is, that coin has another side called “I still need a job”. I don’t intend to abandon cinema, by the moment, but I have to be realistic: I´ve been searching since May in that direction and NOTHING. I know it might be soon, but as I said a few post ago I want to do something big, I’m really tired of waiting for someone to give me a chance and the idea of starting my own project grows everyday, it would not be big screen related as I said that might step a bit aside. I guess everyone has it´s place in life, and maybe mine is full of glitter, lace, sewing machines, endless party full of glamour instead of cintiqs, frames, and color keys…who knows? maybe a couple of years from now, you are wearing my t-shirts and garter belts, well let´s just go with the flow and expect the best from life.

So with the last sip of tequila and strawberries (I´am currently working of my very own strawberry-tequila cocktail, today’s wasn’t bad but I still have to work it out a bit) I wish you a pleasant night and as Coti would say Buena suerte, ciao, adiós. (I still suck at endings)

See you in the next post! (or not)